Lucky

I don’t think many people who know me IRL would be used to me describing myself as “lucky”. Privileged, passionate, depressive, outspoken, opinionated-yes. I’m not sure if I ever really believed in the concept of luck. People who are born with advantage have opportunities. People who work really really hard (like every single “illegal” immigrant I know personally) can make their lives more fruitful and successful; however, one’s starting point is the major factor. Luck brings to mind being in the right place at exactly the right moment in time…following a gut feeling about a decision and having it pay off. The way I’ve set up and structured my life I’m sure would seem lucky to some; but if they lived with the unending anxiety and depression that were my constant companions from 2017-2021 they would nope the fuck out of that shit with a quickness.

I feel lucky in this moment in time. But I think that has more to do with gratitude than anything else. I’m thankful to be the master of my own life and heart. No one has any power over me right now, personally or professionally, which is refreshing as fuck. I’m not a slave to an employer or an unappreciative partner who takes me for granted with each and every breath. I am the only one I need to run important, integral decisions by. And I’m not crippled by a relationship so toxic the fumes could kill a stadium crowd. Because I know people who are in those situations. With no real or perceived way out; and that’s not a position I intend to find myself in ever again (I know I know-if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans).

Thank you, to those closest, for allowing me to feel safe in the space you hold and inspired by your strength.

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