It’s been a long time since I’ve really celebrated my birthday. Or, more accurately, since the day of my birth has been celebrated around others. I am loath to draw attention to myself and yet, feel slighted if not noticed-typical for my sign. Yes, I do blame quite a few of my flaws on astrology; at least I can admit it. But Pisces, as my (nuttier than a fruitcake and fellow fish) grandmother drilled into my head from birth, are a unique type of creature. We are mystics, psychics, depraved, addicted, lovesick, creative to the point of madness..and that just scratches the surface. My former friend threw me a party, handmade gifts, and my former partner made sure I woke up to revelry. That was a few years ago. It was the last year I had with my girl Jazz.
Birthdays, and life, kind of sucked ass for a while after that; for myriad reasons. This was not the, “Let’s drink 19 beers for your 19th birthday” it once was. A lot of my friends were in the ground already (not due to 19 beers) and life felt a little too cold to be celebrating much of anything. This year is the first, in what feels like ages, where I’m cognizant of how much there is to be grateful for. People I love are showing their care in ways I can accept and understand; instead of trying to translate hyphenated hieroglyphics from those who speak vastly different emotional languages. I just got a gift that cracked my heart wide open, and, if you know water signs, you know that means salt water began to flow in earnest. It’s just, sometimes, so fucking obvious that the universe does know wtf she’s doing-there is a rhyme and reason for all of the staggering pain.
To my fellow mermaids; those of us fluent in both light and darker realms-remember: This is how you are supposed to be feeling. We are two creatures tied together, inextricably. One swimming fiercely upward, the other, fighting mightily towards the lower depths of hell. We are all reflections of the chaos of humanity; ultimately all made of the same star stuff. Try to enjoy this plane. Try to laugh at some of the absurdities.
Keep trying to swim against that shadowed current as if your life depends on it. Because it just might.