I’ve always related more to the dark side of things. Books, movies, life experiences. Shadows in alleyways, dancing with vampires. You will never see me in any oh so trendy, for soccer moms and wanna be gurus, live laugh love paraphernalia. For a long time that also meant I eschewed, nay, downright mocked, any whiff of self help/self development. My relationship with gratitude was passive aggressive at best, antagonistic at worst. Which meant I was often depressed, anxious, stressed AF. My brain was a record on constant refrain of the past or trepidatious dread of the future and those grooves were deep. Zero stars, would not recommend.
These days, the anxiety is still present. But every morning I consciously talk myself down from it. Beginning by inventorying what I’m thankful for. Joe Dispenza teaches us our thoughts control and configure our emotions. This was fucking news to me! I always felt completely at the mercy of whatever chaotic cachaphony was taking place inside my limbic system; and didn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t. I blamed it on being a water sign, being “emotional”, being a HSP; before there was a term for it. Come to find out, we do have the power to change the way we feel about things, and it begins by changing our thoughts.
It’s really, really easy. But, still arduous and in no way intuitive. Instead of waking up thinking it’s so fucking cold outside I change to I’m so lucky to be in this warm comfortable bed, there is good, strong coffee downstairs, I have an awesome dog and people who love me in my life. Does that change the fact that it is, in fact, cold as fuck? No. But when we reframe our thoughts and control what we focus on, it affects our general outlook and happiness quotient. I used to think those damn glass half full people were batshit; but they were far wiser than I.